I was assigned to the most aggressive of dorms, with the most inept staff. The only people who actually ran that dorm, where the officers. No back up was provided unless the situation became dire (riots, sexual assaults, mutual combat). During that morning while moving the kids to breakfast, the kids broke formation and began to yell loudly, and obscenely. The situation quickly spiraled out of control, and the kids began picking up rocks and throwing them at me. One even ran up to me and punched me, but I quickly subdued him and sent him away. Its not like I was issued a riot shield, or even a mild pepper spray. All I had was a radio to call for back up, and I did… In the meantime, I was hit by several rocks and other assorted goodies that littered the ground. The Lieutenant on duty showed up, but it did little good. Slowly but surely more officers arrived to assist. Eventually, the chief social worker arrived, the most inept worker I have ever seen, this woman could fuck up even the simplest chores, so of course the criminals got out of control again. What was the punishment for all of this? One kid went to the maximum unit, but that was more or less because he tried to fight the Lieutenant, when he tried to hand cuff him.

That night I made a decision. What trap had I laid for myself? I hated my job, my life, and my situation. I had a job that I hated to buy shit that I really didn’t need. What would I do in the meantime though? The job situation in SC sucks unless you want to work at McDonald’s. So I surfed the net, and came up with a surprising opportunity. I had always been a big fan of Japanese culture. I studied a little of the language, and its history. My apartment was even decked out with Ukiyo-e paintings by Utamaro and Hiroshige. My favourite though, is a large sumi painted screen… An actual original. What I found on the net, where jobs teaching conversational English in Japan. What a terrific opportunity! (Didn't I say that when I joined the Guard?)

So I quit my job, applied to several of these organizations. Amazingly enough, they where quick to respond. One, for a corporation called Neon, who interviewed in nearby Durham, NC. The other, for a corporation called Owari, which interviewed in St. Louis.

I went out, got a new suit, and traveled to Durham to interview with Neon. The beginning of the interview went well. 8 others and myself attended a group, which asked many questions, and watched a film in Japanese. The group was rather reserved, and so am I for that fact, but I was trying to make a good impression, and so I became extremely gregarious. Before I knew it, I had broken the ice, and everyone began talking very comfortably with each other. I was rather daunted though, because 4 of them where ESL qualified, and had experience and even world travel under their belt, where I had none of these. To my surprise though, I was the most knowledgeable about Japan, and asked the most intelligent questions… At least I thought. After the group presentation, we where given private interviews. I think I may have sounded overly eager, and maybe a bit arrogant during that interview, but once again, I thought it went well. After the interview we all where told to wait 10 days at the most for the decision, but rather than bank on that, I decided to book a flight to St. Louis at the last moment to interview with Owari. While I was there, I thought I would visit with a high school friend’s stepfather, Sam. This may sound strange, but he was really a nice guy who always enjoyed hanging out with us in order to relive his younger, glory days, we all thought. Whatever the reason, we all felt comfortable around him, and I looked forward to meeting up with him.

I got a flight by using some of my parents frequent flier miles, but they are now charging 75$ for a processing fee. I swear, the airlines make most of their money by butt fucking the passengers. I slept at Sam’s place for one evening, and then went to the hotel where the interview was taking place, and checked in. As you can imagine, an airport hotel is very expensive, and it certainly decimated my wallet.

I arrived 15 minutes early for the Neon meeting, and I found out that I was actually 1 hour and 45 minutes late. Fortunately for me, the interviewer was a very nice woman, and let me do my model lesson. This was extremely fortunate for me, because most of the presenters lacked any real presentation skill, and bumbled their way about. After that the recruiter passed out invitations to who would be invited back for a personal interview. We where told to keep this secret, but of course we didn’t. 10 of the 12 applicants where asked back to a personal interview. This was only because one guy completely froze up when he was in front of the audience, and one girl just got up and left before the model lesson plan.

To my surprise, I was invited to the personal interview the next day. It was unlike any interview I had ever had. I was to plan a lesson in 10 minutes, and teach it to the interviewer, who pretended to be a Japanese college student. As one might imagine, it was nerve wracking, but I pulled it off none the less.  I made some english mistakes though in my quick presentation, and got caught trying to pass it off as true.  The teacher said that it was very common since most people arent really english teachers, and who really thinks of the difference between for and since...  Think about it.    After that was the standard interviewing business of asking questions and determining the ability of the applicant. I think I did remarkably well, considering my horrible first impression of being late.

On the way home, while in Atlanta Airport on a layover, and just sat there watching people go about their business. Airports are such marvelous places. There are joyful reunions, tearful farewells, nervous international travelers and exhausted salary men. A thousand stories and a thousand people roam about, yet most are consumed in their own business or panic to reach their flights on time.